Moraine Valley Church

The struggle is real // Week 11

The struggle is real // Week 10

The Streuggle is real // Week 9

The Struggle is real // Week 8

 Grief
Lamentations November 10, 2019   

1. Introduction:
   1. Power point of 75^th images on our FB page that people can save and make the image their phone background as a reminder!
   2. One man described grief like this
      1. As for grief, you’ll find it comes in When the ship is first wrecked, you’re drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. All you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it’s some physical thing. Maybe it’s a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it’s a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.
      2. In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don’t even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months or years, you’ll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. However, in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what’s going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything…and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.
      3. Somewhere down the line, and it’s different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall or 50 feet tall. While they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming; an anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O’Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. When it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you’ll come out.
   3. Grief is the emotional and mental response to loss (loss of a job, a relationship, a dream, a loved one’s life, etc.)! This loss sets off numerous emotions at the same time a series of conflicting thoughts, which all seem to be on steroids. 
      
       
   4. The book of Lamentations is about the deep grief the people of Jerusalem felt after God used Babylon to destroy the city Jerusalem, broke down their walls of defense, burned the temple, the king’s house and every house in the city, and took the people captive back to Babylon. They knew their own sin brought all this on! 
   5. While the whole book details out the condition of the city and the people, let’s get a general feel for it by just looking at a few summary verses
      1. Read 1:1, 3
      2. On top of that
         1. There was destruction everywhere and it touched everyone.
         2. Bodies were lying in the streets of both young and old who were slain by both the sword and by the hunger of famine
         3. To get a feel for what they were feeling think back of the images you saw the morning after the Twin Towers came down in New York on Sept 11, 2001

• Now let’s look at the condition of the people who had lost so much
• The Condition of the People
  1. It said:
     1. They were mourning and moaning and tears ran down like a river day and night.
     2. They were full of bitterness, greatly troubled and depressed in the core of their beings without hope or joy.
     3. Their strength failed and they were faint all day long, they were worn out and found no rest.
     4. Then the book is closed with this prayer.   Read 5:19-22
  2. The grieving soul is not always pretty and is full of many conflicting thoughts and emotions.
• How do you minister to someone like this, or if you are the person how do you find your bearings at a time like that? Actually the book of Lamentations gives us  
• Two pillars of truth that sustain us in grief!
  3. The first is to set my mind on God’s loving kindness and compassion. Turn to Lamentations 3.
     1. Read 3:21-24
     2. What gives us hope again is to redirect our thoughts back to the Lord’s loving kindness and His compassion and His faithfulness and that in the midst of the pain, daily He will give fresh mercies for what you need
        1. Loving kindness has to do with God’s love towards us based on our covenant relationship with Him. He is faithful to His promises to care for us
        2. Compassion has to do with God’s love towards us based upon the fact that His heart is moved towards us when He sees us in need!
        3. It is not just His promise to care for us but His heart for us that moves Him to meet us daily in our needs!
     3. Knowing this is true to wait upon the Lord for the deliverance He will bring. Read 25-26.
  4. The second truth that helps us regain our bearings in the middle of grief is recognizing God’s sovereignty - that nothing touches our life apart from God directing it or allowing it for purposes that are often higher than we can understand! Read 3:37-38
  5. Lon Alison, formerly the executive director of the Billy Graham Center, after being diagnosed with very aggressive liver cancer he was asked, “How this has impacted his faith and view of God?” He said,
     1. I have clung to two truths to sustain me. First is the sovereignty of God:  The second great truth is His love for me and my family:  
     2. The sovereignty of God means He has authority over this situation. He has allowed this cancer to strike me. He can cure it in a nanosecond, or allow it to grow within me. He is in charge.
     3. The love of God reminds me of His goodness lavished upon me and mine with His love. He is not a tyrant God, nor an absent God. His love is always present and extravagant. Those twin doctrines sustain me.

• The Book of Lamentations

1. Confirms three things for those who are suffering!
   1. First God’s love and God’s sovereignty help you regain your bearings in the midst of grief!    
   2. Second, it is a battle to turn your mind from the pain of your circumstances to the Lord!
   3. Finally, God’s daily compassions and faithfulness will carry you through your grief!
2. Interview
   1. I have asked four people who have recently gone through the deep experience of grief to share their story with us!

The Struggle is Real // Week 7

Guilt and Shame
Various Passages November 3, 2019
I. Introduction:
A. Sin not only deeply impacts the quality of our life and relationships but it leaves a
deep imprint our own souls regarding our own identity (how we view ourselves,
who we think we are) and makes our conscious carry the heavy weight of guilt!
B. Today I want to address guilt and shame.
1. Guilt is that feeling that I have done something wrong.
2. Shame is that feeling that I am wrong.
a) That deeply feeling that I am no good, defective, unacceptable, even
damaged beyond repair.
C. While guilt and shame are closely intertwined with each other, I want to separate
them this morning because God’s answer to each one is slightly different.
D. As I move into this today, let’s start with
II. Shame
A. Shame is the feeling that I am bad, I am wrong, I am evil! it is about who you are,
specifically who you see yourself to be
1. Shame makes you hide who you really are and what you have done from
others thinking if they knew the real you they would never like you.
B. Shame first appears in the garden after Adam and Eve sinned by eating of the fruit
that God told them not to eat. Read Gen 3:7-10
C. Note especially that their first response was to make themselves loin coverings out
of fig leaves to hide intimate parts of their body from each other but also they
sought to hide from the presence of God. Point out 7c, 8b, 10b
1. But listen to how God provided for them in their new state of sin and shame.
2. Read v21 – God provided for them garments of skins
D. We can see two things here that deal with our shame-
1. First, the sacrifice of an innocent animal to cover the sins of Adam and Eve
2. Secondly, the skin of that sacrifice was made into garments to cover their
shame and nakedness! He gave them clothing
E. And that is exactly what God has done for us today in Jesus
1. Not only has God given Jesus as the sacrifice to pay the death penalty for our
sins
2. But He has also offered that same sacrifice, Jesus as our new clothing to
cover our shame
3. Gal 3:27-28
a) Those of us who are in Christ have been clothed with Jesus Christ
b) When God sees us He no longer sees us according to our nationality,
social status or gender or even our sins but rather He sees Jesus when He
looks at us
F. Clothes have the ability to give us a new identity, a new look and to cover up the
parts of our life that we do not want others to see!
1. A few months back I wore a pair of Nike’s on a Sunday morning. I was
amazed at the number of young people that noticed and commented how cool
I was for wearing them.
a) The kind of clothes we wear gives us a new identity as often people
value and identify us by the clothes we wear!
2. Also, clothing covers what we do not want others to see!
a) I had numerous people at my daughter’s wedding tell me how good I
looked and I did look much better than usual as a tuxedo does wonders
for a man.
b) But, I could not help but think of what people would have said if I did
my daughter’s wedding in a bathing suit – not as much hidden, not as
much pretty.
G. God has provided for me a new set of clothing to deal with my shame and the
label on that clothing is Jesus! He covers my sin and is my new identity!
H. So “God’s solution to shame is the clothing of Jesus!” Let me repeat. You repeat!
• Let’s now take a look at the emotional damage sin does in the area of
III. Our Guilt!
A. Guilt is the awareness and the feeling that I did something wrong and it is
connected with our conscience
B. The foundation that every believer in Jesus Christ stands on is that all of our sins,
past, present and future have already been paid for by Jesus Christ in His death
and they are forgiven forever.
1. Listen to Hebrews 10:11-12.
2. The penalty for our sin has already been paid, but the consequences of our
daily sins are felt deep within our souls.
B. It is the blood of Jesus reapplied to our conscience that deals with our guilt!
Remember the penalty is already paid; now we are dealing with the consequences
of our daily sins upon our emotions and conscience!
1. 1 John 1:9
2. Ps 32:1-5
C. So, while “God’s solution to shame is the clothing of Jesus!” on the other hand
“God’s solution to guilt is the cross of Jesus!”
• So how do these truths seek deep within our souls to change the way we see ourselves
and release us from the heavy load of guilt we are carrying. We need to
II. Reckon what God says is true as true for you!
A. Reckoning simply means to count what God has already said is true as true for
you.
1. In the first ten verses of Romans 6 God states all these amazing truths that
happened to us at the cross of Jesus then He tells us in verse 11 to count, to
consider, to reckon these same truths as true of us.
2. I cannot name and claim things that I want to be true in my life, but I do
name and claim the things that God says are already true about me! So yes, I
am a “name it and claim it guy” – I name and claim everything that God says
is true of me “in Jesus”!
B. So regarding my shame I put on the clothing of Christ by:
1. Daring to believe what God says is true of me! I see myself, as I really am a
new creature in Christ at the core of my being, a saint!
a) Yes, a saint who still sins, but not just a dirty rotten sinner at my core,
who has been forgiven.
2. One practical tool that could help you with this is a card that is our small
groups ministry created and is using. If you are struggling with shame, begin
to pray through these different truths about you in Christ! Praise through
them, thank God for each one, meditate and memorize the passages that are
especially relevant to you.
C. When it comes to reckoning the cross of Jesus regarding my guilt. I thank God
that forgiveness is already mine and I confess my sins to experience the cleansing
of my conscience!
• As we go to
III. Communion
A. Today let us make Ps 139:23-24 our prayer. He is appropriating in prayer what
God said is already true. He is asking God to make that truth personal in his life.
Cr v1
B. Ask God if there are any hurtful way of shame or guilt within you.
1. If it is shame ask Him to lead you to the piece of clothing in Jesus you need
to put on, claim as your own and mediate on it
2. If it is guilt over unconfessed sin regarding something you have done,
confess it to God and experience the cleansing of your conscience
3. If it is guilt over something you are just not clear on what you did but just
have this general sense of guilt then I would identify it as false guilt from the
Devil!
a) God’s conviction by the Holy Spirit is never unclear and vague but clear
and direct regarding the sin, you will know what you did!
b) Satan’s false guilt is always unclear & vague it does not need to be
confessed but rather resisted in the name of Jesus!
C. Pass elements and time to reflect before the Lord

The Struggle is Real // Week 6

Pastor Pat speaks on Depression as we continue our series, "The Struggle is Real."

The Struggle is Real // Week 5

Our Director of Sisters' Connection, Ava Perry, speaks on Insecurity in our fall series, "The Struggle is Real."

The Struggle is Real // Week 4

Hurt and Forgiveness
Gen 37-50 Life of Joseph
October 13, 2019
I. Introduction:
A. Baby Announcement - Grayson Gary Borger was born September 26 to Matt and
Lexi. The proud grandparents are Gary and Tami Reyna. The proud great
grandparents are Don and Sharon Couwenhoven.
B. Today’s sermon is my most direct response to the Father’s Day sermon I gave a
year and a half ago about those who did not have a good relationship with their
parents. But the truths we learn from today’s message will apply to anyone who
has been hurt by someone, whether a parent, a mate, a trusted friend or even a
stranger! The various kinds of damage to the human soul still linger long after the
events took place.
C. The struggle is real and the pain is especially deep for those who have been hurt
by who is supposed to love you like a mate, parent, sibling, trusted friend, etc.
D. The goal of my message today is learn how to turn “victims” of people’s sins
against them into a “victors” over that sin!
• This morning I want to jump-start the process of healing by showing you three
lessons from the life of Joseph that turns victims into victors. Let’s start by seeing
how …
II. Joseph was a Victim
A. The first happened to Joseph when he was 17 years old. God had shown him in a
dream that someday he would rule over the rest of his family. When he shared
this dream with his family, it was not received very well.
1. One day when his brothers were out in the field with the flocks they saw
Joseph coming towards them and they plotted together to kill him.
2. Eventually rather than killing him, they sold him as a slave to some
Ishmaelite foreigners who were passing by on their way to Egypt.
3. When these Ishmaelites reached Egypt, they sold Joseph to an Egyptian
officer named Potiphar, who was the captain of the bodyguard.
4. So Joseph was literally sold into slavery by his own family.
B. Potiphar’s Wife
1. God was with Joseph and all that he did prospered. So Potiphar put him in
charge over everything that he owned.
2. Now Joseph was a handsome man and Potiphar’s wife desired to sleep with
him. Day after day, she offered herself to Joseph but he refused her offers.
3. One day Potiphar’s wife was tired of his rejections and grabbed his garment
as he was running away, and she made up a story that he tried to rape her.
Because her lie, Joseph actually ended up in jail!
C. While in jail through a long chain of events, Joseph ended up interpreting the
dream of one of the king’s servants who was in jail with him.
1. Joseph asked only one request, he asked the cup bearer that when it went well
with him to remember to mention Joseph to Pharaoh so he could get out of
the jail
2. Well the cupbearer forgot to mention Joseph to the Pharaoh and he spent two
more years in jail because of this man’s neglect and forgetfulness.
3. Eventually Joseph got out by God giving him the wisdom he needed to
interpret the Pharaoh’s dream.
D. The point is this, over a 13-year period from the age of 17 to 30; Joseph three
times had to bear the severe consequences of someone else’s sin or neglect.
• But what we learn from Joseph’s life are the lessons that turn a victim into a victor.
The first lesson we can learn from Joseph is
III. Seeking God in the midst of your pain
A. Read Gen 41:50-52
B. Now we know from the story as it goes on that Joseph did not forget the details of
what happened to him.
1. So forget is not used in the sense that God wiped the memory of the situation
clean from his mind,
2. Rather what happened to him was that God had broken the power of that
situation controlling and enslaving his mind.
C. Note that it was “God” who made him forget, and it was “God” who made him
fruitful. Reread v51 & 52 emphasizing “God”
1. It is important that we get face to face with God in the midst of our pain and
allow Him to do His work of healing us, breaking the power of that memory
and using our life and pain to bring glory to Him and blessing to others.
2. When God meets us in our pain and messes as someone has said, “our mess
become our message!” that God uses to bring life and grace to others
D. I mentioned last week that when we seek God in the places He is working
(programs, services, etc.) and deeply depend upon Him miracles happen! I call it
DD & DD. Due diligence on our part and deep dependence upon God
1. At Next Steps Table pick up resource cards!
2. This last week Emotional Resilience started and I was excited that some 80
people have put themselves in a place where God can work
3. This coming week on Thursday Night starts Celebrate Recovery, which is
specifically designed to help people who are struggling with hurts, hang-ups,
habits and addictions from eating to drugs and everything in between. Often
addictions are used to medicate our depression and emotions. Information is
available at the Next Steps table – Jeff Janulis
¨ So the first thing we need to do is position ourselves to involve God in our pain and
once we do that we are ready for the second lesson which is …
IV. Seeing God’s purposes in your pain
A. Joseph saw God’s sovereignty and purposes in the terrible sin that his brothers
committed against him.
1. Listen to what happened when Joseph first revealed to his brothers who he
was. Read Gen 45:5-8a.
B. Many people that I have met who have been seriously sinned against are still
seeing and interpreting their life through the lens of the sins against them.
C. When God is working in our hearts, we begin to see life from a completely new
perspective. We begin to see it from God’s viewpoint rather than our own. We
begin to understand that there is more going on in my life than what meets the
eye. There is a larger story going on than that of which I am aware.
• Illustrate the tapestry and my ability to see only a small piece of it and only
the backside of it that looks very messy.
D. Let me suggest two things that we know from Scripture that God is doing. We
know that there are more, but these are two major ones that have applications to
each of our lives.
1. Rom 8:28-29– conform us to the image of Jesus Christ.
2. Two Cor 4:7-10– manifest the indwelling life of Christ through us.
¨ Once we learn to experience God in the midst of our pain,
which allows us to see God’s purpose in our pain, then the final
lesson on turning a victim into a victor is …
V. Forgiving the offender
A. Read Gen 50:15-21
B. Forgiveness is essential to experiencing the deep healing within our souls. Yet it
is such a struggle as 2 Cor 2:10-11 tells us that we need to forgive lest Satan take
advantage of us because we are not ignorant of Satan’s schemes! Satan shots his
poison into our hearts through un-forgiveness and compounds the struggle!
C. The hardest part of forgiveness for me is when the person who hurt me does not
acknowledge they did it or does not apologize for what they have done. If
someone apologizes normally, God gives me quick grace to forgive. But what do
we do with those who have not:
1. As I wrestled with forgiving someone who hurt me and did not acknowledge
it or apologize to me. God spoke me through Jesus on the cross when He
said, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they are doing” –
a) Jesus forgave without anyone asking for forgiveness or
acknowledgement of their wrong doing
b) I could no longer hold out for an apology or acknowledgement – I
needed to forgive without that.
2. Last week we talked about two things
a) Room of grace – depend on Jesus for strength and next steps –
(1) It is not a program to follow or a principle to learn but a person, the
Savior, Jesus that gives us the ability and wisdom we need to walk
through this!
b) When we take a radical honest look in our hearts we see helplessness –
bigger than me, smarter than I am smart and stronger than I am strong –
(1) So I need to turn to Jesus to show me what I need to do next and
give me the strength to forgive!
D. Let me tell my story and how God met me on the issue of unforgiveness that was
controlling my heart towards those who hurt me!
1. I was at a conference when the speaker told his story of his need to forgive
some people that deeply hurt him. Afterwards the host of the conference
challenged us and gave us some time to examine our own hearts and the need
to forgive.
2. That time with the Lord at the end of that message ended up being four hours
long and my missing the entire afternoon session.
E. As I met with God that afternoon, He placed in my heart an image that set me free
and I have been free now for over ten years. This is what God spoke to me about
that day:
1. Need to hand over to God the “papers”, the ‘blood stained’ papers that have
all the offenses on it that this person has committed against me. That blood
stained list with “paid in full” written over it with Jesus’ blood. (Yes, they
are guilty as charged but Jesus paid for it in full.)
2. Get the keys from God, go to the prison of my heart, and open up the prison.
Then go back to the torture chamber of my heart where I have been mentally
and emotionally beating them up and making them pay for what they have
done to me, and set them free
3. Next, I needed to go over to the judgment stand where I had been hurling
accusations at them and set them free from my judgments and from thinking
evil about them.
4. Thank God, for the relationship I did have with this person and the blessing
they were to me.
5. Thank God, that He will use their wrong against me and all the pain that has
brought for a good purpose in my life.
6. Confess my sin of unforgiveness as being as great of a sin as what they did
against me
7. Resist the Devil from taking any further ground in my heart from my
unforgiveness
8. Pray a blessing for that person for their life.
9. Do all of this in Jesus’ name trusting Him to enable me for this.
E. Working through all these people, I had never forgiven and God genuinely setting
me free took about six weeks of going through this process. With each person I
journaled before the Lord about each different person or groups of people as to
exactly what they did and what I did and how I responded
VI. Conclusion
A. Turn to Psalm 123
1. Note the contempt in his soul. Read 3-4
2. But that contempt was placed on him by others
3. He is not saying it is his contempt for others that fills his soul but the
contempt that others placed on him. Modern day translation, “These people
have crapped on me and now I am full of their crap!”
B. How do I get rid of this crap in my heart? How do I release this from my heart?
1. Listen to 3a – God’s grace – only God can do this – it is a gift from God
2. Read v1-2
3. The same way a servant looks to the hand of their master for direction and
provision we must look to God for direction and provision until He provides
it!
a) We need to continually look to, rely upon, call upon and wait for the
Lord until He gives us the grace to forgive and let it go!

The Struggle is Real // Week 3

Biblical Theology of Counseling
Various Passages October 6, 2019

I. Introduction:
A. This morning’s message is going to be different from what you are used to getting when we open up a passage, teach
what it means and then apply it.
B. What is going to happen today is you are going to get:
1. Over 40 years of studying Scripture
2. Over 60 years of living with and struggling with my own soul
3. 34 years of pastoral ministry and care of others’ souls.
4. What I have learned from others over these years from those who specialize in these things
C. So these converge together to form my biblical theology of pastoral counseling for ministering to a damaged soul,
someone else’s and your own!
D. As I share this my hope is that it will help in three ways:
1. Those who are struggling with something in their own souls will get some direction on how to think about these
things and how to begin to approach them
2. Those who are basically doing OK right now in their souls would find out things that will help them excel still the
more in their soul since none of us will be perfect in this area.
3. Finally, it will equip all of us a bit more on how to think and help others we love who are struggling deep within
their souls. You might call it a biblical/pastoral counseling 101.
E. So over the past 3 months I have worked hard trying to summarize all my thinking and understanding in a simple way
that can help us with these things. I encourage you, if you are interested; to go to the web page and download the
document that I created that summarizes all of this so you can use it for yourself or helping others!
 Let me start with an...
II. Overview of the whole process (See 4 page Handout)
A. The process
1. Commission – sins done but should not have been (sexual or verbal abuse). Omission – should have been done
but was not (told you’re loved or received affection and affirmation)
2. Room of works looks like - when we try to manage our sin through willpower, the process looks like this:
sin...confess... do better for a while, and then sin again. Embarrassment, confess again, ask God to take away
the desire, then sin again, confess again, sin again, confess again, shock, more determination to stop sinning, think
about it a lot and examine it. Make promises, create some boundaries, and sin again, now even worse than

before. Despair, anger, shame, distance from God and guilt. Self-condemnation, self-loathing... sin again.
Disillusionment, doubt, self-pity, resentment at God: Why doesn’t He hear my prayers? Why doesn’t He do
something? More anger. Then fear because we allow ourselves to get angry with God. Then real confession, a
heartfelt one, and a sense of cleansing. Ah, a new start. Things seem to get better. Yeah, I finally got this sin
under control. Oops, sin again. Desperate efforts and bargains struck. Once-and-for-all healing. Really, mean it
this time. Sin again. Lose hope, give up, rationalize, minimize, blame, pull away, hide, judge others, put on a mask,
sin again, and so on.
B. The room of grace
1. Radical Honesty .... Radically honest look – the opposite of that is denial, suppression, not wanting to talk about it!
2. Like denying you have cancer and thinking it will take care of itself or just go away. It will eventually overtake you
and destroy you!
C. The past
1. Read statement at the top
2. At the end of describing how to address the past. The emotional resilience class that starts this Tuesday here at
MVC will go into this process much deeper. At Next Steps Table there will be more info and resource cards about
all of the resources we have available for you during this series.
D. Spiritual warfare
III. Conclusion
A. Ps 127:1 says “unless the Lord builds the house the laborers labor in vain”
B. The best information, processes and programs do not have the power to transform a life, only God does that!
C. There is a special meeting between man and God when we prayerfully depend upon God and do the due diligence to
put ourselves in the places where God is working.
1. Some of those places you will find on the resource card at Next Steps Table
D. Thus this week we are moving into a week of prayer where we are calling the whole body to come and pray for one
another and our loved ones as we are asking the Healer Himself to do things in our souls that only He can do.
E. Josh will explain a bit more about this.

The Struggle is Real // Week 2

Our Family Pastor, Mike Locke, speaks on God's Emotions in our Fall Series, The Struggle is Real